Saturday, December 6, 2008

When Hearts Silently Break

Last week, my pre schooler brought a donut to school for his snack. When I got home, our househelp / nanny informed me that she found that my son only finished half of his donut. I wondered why. My son loves that particular kind of donut. So I asked him. He said:

"Jacob saw my donut, got it from me while I was eating it and then licked it and then returned it to me."

Seriously? I wanted to smack the kid. That Jacob. How dare him.

I asked my son why Jacob did that and he said he didn't know. I asked him if he did anything to Jacob and he said he didn't do anything. I asked him what he did after Jacob did that and he said he just kept what was left of his snack. I asked him if he told his teacher about it and he said he didn't.

So I wrote my son's teacher quite a lengthy letter.

What do you do when your child is bullied?

I had to explain to my son that he should never allow people to treat him that way. Be nice to others but defend yourself when you need to. I will not be there to always protect him. The day will come when he will have to fend for himself -- he will have to face the harsh realities of this world on his own. And it breaks my heart -- it always does.

Anyway, the teacher apologized, informed me that she informed Jacob's parents, etc.

I understand that its something we as parents can never control. we can't always shield our children, I know that. But you know, when our children get hurt, silently our hearts break.


Heather said...

Aw, I'm sorry that happened. I wish we could protect our kids from all hurts.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Stinks doesn't it? My son is in 5th grade and he is experiencing a LOT of bullying. They have called him names, thrown things at him (and cut his lip), hit him, drawn really mean pictures of him, and just generally tried to make his life miserable.

I've talked to the Principal and the teacher multiple times and they have made some efforts - talked to the parents, punished the kids, even had a police officer talk to the class about bullying. But it's several different kids and they can't protect him every minute. Blake is smaller and more immature than the other kids and he seems to be a magnet for this behavior. It just breaks my heart every day when I have to send him off to school knowing he is going to have to face kids like these.

Karen MEG said...

And makes mama bear roarrrrr...

I was horribly bullied as a kid, and try as you might, it is really difficult to protect your kids from it. Even at the young age of 2, my boy experienced it in daycare and THAT really broke my heart.

You absolutely did the right thing discussing it with your son, and then writing to the teacher. I did that last year for my son when he was being chased every recess - and his teacher nipped it in the bud.

It is heartbreaking but at least the foundation is set that your son will know how to better deal with it next time... and know that his mama's got his back.

Growing up is so hard sometimes, especially for mommy ;).

Heart of Rachel said...

I'm sorry to know about that incident in school.

When I was young, my classmate bullied me into giving her my Sanrio stuff (threatening that something bad will happen to my family if I refused). My mom noticed that my Sanrio stuff kept "disappearing". She later found out about the bully in class and had a long talk with my adviser and the parents of the girl. Things ended on a good note and that girl never bothered me again.

I think you did the right decision. Calling the teacher's attention through a letter made her aware of the situation. I hope she will pay more attention to the actions of that boy from now on and discourage bullying acts. It's good that the teacher informed the parents about their son's behavior.