Wednesday, February 28, 2007
So I now have a 5 year old who will be moving up to Prep I this April. Eeeks! He has 2 years before he enters 1st grade. 1st grade!?!
Dash turns 9 months today. Quite sad in a way. Just another reminder for me that my baby may soon not be a baby anymore. Arghh. And seriously, when I hold Dash in my arms - which happens very seldom now a days as he prefers to be moving around the house 'independently' - I secretly say to myself that, uh, I think I will want another one of these cute things by next year. Ahhh! I know, I am dreading that thought. I thought I was all good with my 2 boys why want another baby again?
OK, aside from that I have been stressed just thinking about this: Our nanny wants to pursue a college degree (!). I know. And she wants to enroll by this June. She told me she will only be getting a few units so that she will have more time for Dash. I also have MY own plans of continuing my Masters degree while still working. And even if I have told myself a number of times that I will expect Jet to care for Dash while the nanny is gone I do not wish to pretend that that will be a perfect plan. Yes Jet can care for the kids. IN fact I can leave the kids with him for a whole day but not for DAYS. Like it becomes his routine? NO way. I know that we will end up fighting.
I have considered resigning -- even if I love my job. But if I leave my job, I will be throwing away my health insurance which also covers my hubby and the kids, a good enough compensation package and other perks that the family gets to enjoy. Come to think of it, I am pretty lucky to have my job, considering the fact that our city has very few big, transnational companies.
Unless hubby gets a job by then, then maybe I will seriously consider finding a part time job, like maybe tutoring ESL.
Then there's the dilemma with the nanny. Should I still keep her? Will it all be worth it? If I let her go, it is very hard to find a replacement, more so, someone like her. She has been with us for 3 years and has not caused us any major problems. I can trust my kids with her, I can leave the home and know that when I come back my house has not burned down, she never touches my jewelry and we trust that she never touches our money.
So what do you think?
And oh yeah, hubby and I will be celebrating our 10 years of being together! Aahhhh! March 13, 1997. That was the day I met the boy who would eventually become my husband. Together for 10 years, living together for 6 years and married for 3 years.
More on our love story later.
I gotta go stress myself out some more
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
This is the closest we get to an exersaucer. Keeps him busy anyway.
Mr. Potatohead R2D2. OK, I am the one who really really wanted this. And I so want a Mr. Poatohead Darth Vader. The store ran out. Love It. Love It.
I so do not want to get too moody and sensitive about all this because I do not want to spoil Josh's birthday.
I took the morning off because Jet and I brought birthday snacks for Josh's class to enjoy. OK, I am not sure if snack is the right term. We took out Happy Meals for the kids -- chicken and rice with juice. I'm pretty sure the kids enjoyed it though. Josh's school prohibits junk food and chocolate as snacks for the kids, so we had to be pretty careful about choosing the most nutritious among all the happy meals. Well, if I had the time I would have chosen to cook up a good meal and made goody bags for the kids. Maybe...Hopefully, one day I will have the luxury of being a Stay At Home Mom.
So, here's wishing to an enjoyable birthday weekend for Josh.
Happy 5th birthday Josh!
Friday, February 23, 2007
It's Josh's 5th birthday on Saturday and Jet and I planned an overnight trip to the beach to celebrate his birthday. We planned on this almost a month ago. So we also thought of inviting my MIL and 2 SIL's but expenses were to be split. Well not really split, like we pay for our expenses, they pay for theirs. Money is tight nowadays so treating them was out of the question. But being too stingy was and is also out of the question. I would want to spend on good hotel accommodations and good food. If there is one thing I enjoy spending on is food. That is one thing I will not be stingy about -- for as long as the food is good and reasonably priced, I don't mind spending on it.
Crappy thing is my MIL makes her money spending such a huge issue.
Jet told her that we were able to find a AAA+ water park resort. We have been there a zillion times, rooms are very new and clean. It costs 6000 pesos/night ($120). We do not need to eat in the resort because there are good seafood restaurants nearby. Plus I am so sure that Josh will have a blast on the water slides and the wave pool and all the other fun water rides. And that is what I want for Josh, for him to enjoy his birthday. SO anyway, MIL thinks is too damn expensive. Another crappy thing, MIL wants to ride down in the van with us. OK, so that would make 10 of us fitting ourselves into the van -- which I am totally hating. Jet suggested that she take her car down and we can convoy and MIL says she doesn't want to spend on the gas. Grrrr.
Cut the even longer story short, I am just so irritated and annoyed.
More annoying part is Jet just keeps telling me to adjust and to just let it go.
I am currently trying to just let all of this go. This is Josh's birthday and I wish not spoil it any further.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Dash: Ah-da-da-da-da Ah-uh-ah-ah-ah-ah-eh
Lou Ann carefully peeps but not really opening her eyes in such away that Dash sees her awake.
Dash looks around. Uses Lou Ann's tummy to catch a glimpse of his dad and brother who are still peacefully sleeping on the mattress below.
Dash: A-da-da-da Wa-wa-da-wa-wa-ah-ah
Dash starts to pound his fat fists on Lou Ann's tummy.
Lou Ann opens her mouth accidentally because all she really wanted to do was say OUCH.
Dash catches a glimpse of Lou Ann's opened mouth. He moves a bit closer to Lou Ann's face. Poke mouth. Poke eyes. Pointer finger into her nostril. Forces Lou Ann's mouth to open. Poke eyes.
Lou Ann remains motionless.
Dash: urghhhhh (grunt) uhhhhhhh (grunt) ughhhh (grunt)
Stinky aroma fills the air.
Lou Ann can't help it. She kicks off her blanket.
Looks like a wonderful day ahead!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Josh was sitting on his own when he was 7 months. And this was a big help because I could leave him in his crib for almost an hour while he played and I could do things around the house.And that is exactly what I have been wishing for for Dash because when he is "swimming" around the house, I have to keep a close watch over him to make sure he doesn't pick up anything that could harm him or that he doesn't go too far. Or when he is pretending to think that he can stand on his own, I still have to make sure I am gently holding him by his hips or on his back since he hasn't perfected his balance yet. Gawd worse is when he decides to lock his 2 fat legs around my waist for me to carry him around the house with me while I do what I have to do. He has also learned the art of not going to a person who he doesn't want to go to. The grip of those 2 tiny fat hands! Man they crumple my shirt real well!
And this learning how to crawl thing. I know that it will promote the development of his fine motor skills but gawd! Josh never crawled you see so this crawling thing is something very new to me. Josh sat at 7 months and was walking by 11 months.
So there, the babe won't sit. Na-uh.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
(all hippie and flower power-ish)
Mom's dad, my lolo (grandpa) was a doctor and Mom's mom, my lola (grandma) was a pharmacist. My lolo had his own clinic and my lola had her small pharmacy at the bottom of Session Road, the main commercial road in Baguio City.
Dad's dad, my gramps (as I always called him), was a lawyer and writer/journalist and Dad's mom, my gramma, was a social worker.
Both families were old timers of Baguio City and both families knew each other very well. Mom and her siblings went to a private catholic school for elementary while Dad and his siblings went to a public school. Come high school, Mom and Dad went to the same school. Funny thing is the siblings of Mom and Dad were batch mates and ended up being classmates in high school.
When Dad was younger, he used to sell newspaper and shine the shoes of my lolo. Little did my Dad know that Lolo would be his father-in-law in the future.
Mom and Dad were high school classmates. According to my Mom, she had the hugest crush on Dad for the longest time but Dad being his quiet, reserved self, never paid much attention to Mom. Come college, Mom studied in Baguio while Dad went on to study in Manila. During the semestral break, Mom would ask their family driver to drive past the Hamada residence along Kisad Road in the hope of catching a glimpse of Dad. There were times that they would drive past Dad's family house without a sign of Dad anywhere but there would be times when Dad would be standing in the driveway. Mom said that when this would happen, she would hide in the backseat and carefully peep out the window trying her best to hide from Dad but still catch a glimpse of him. (Geez)
So anyway, finally, after having their own girlfriends and boyfriends and after the longest courtship in the world, Mom and Dad tied the know when they were 33 and 32 years old respectively.
Mom and Dad loved each other so much. They would fight yes, but they loved each other. Mom meant the world to my Dad and Dad stood as Mom's strength.
Mom had 3 pregnancies. One before me but she miscarried when she was only a few weeks on the way. Then she had me. She had to be on complete bed rest when she was carrying me. And then she had one more after me. I was 4 years old then I think. But she miscarried again.
I admire the relationship Mom and Dad shared. They made decisions together. The argued about a lot of things. Although never said, they taught me the value of keeping the marriage sacred.
I remember what Dad told Jet one time : "Jet. this is what my Dad always tole me, the most painful thing to see is to see a woman cry."
One of Mom's last wishes was that she be cremated and a part of her ashes be out "right on top of Steve's heart." Dad was buried at our family plot.
Their story is one I hold in my heart dearly and will share with my boys as they grow up.
Friday, February 16, 2007
I think of Dad -- and I cry. I remember how his drinking problem became a very big part of my mom's and my life. I remember when I was 5 or 6 years old and my Dad came home drunk as usual, my Mom looked so desperate and exasperated and I hugged my Mom and told her, "just smile Ma." My Dad had a lot of hurts, frustrations, anger and bitterness in him. Being the artist and writer that he was, he was a man of few words -- when he was sober. He turned to alcohol as an outlet to sharpen his tongue. But he was a good man. All of his actions were out of the goodness of his heart. He was a very misunderstood man. Often thought of to be a drunk with no other purpose and sense in this world. But I loved my Dad dearly. He always wanted the best for me. I tried to understand him when I was growing up but I guess I only got to fully comprehend all these when he had gone -- gone on to the Great Newsroom in Heaven -- where his talent, skills and love for writing would be truly appreciated.
My grandfather, Sinai C. Hamada was born a writer. He published a book of a collection of his short stories and poems. He was recognized as a great writer in our country. After graduating from Law School and passing the bar exams as the 11th placer, he came back to our hometown Baguio City and set up his own Newspaper. Here my Dad grew up together with his 5 other siblings -- exposed to the smell of the printing press and the life of a newsman. He went off to college after which he came back to Baguio and worked with my grandfather at the Baguio Midland Courier. He was a good newsman, never giving in to political bribes -- he spoke the truth. After a few years, the older brother of my grandfather Sinai, out of sheer greed, heartlessly grabbed the Midland Courier from our family. A lot of hurt, pain and anger grew in my Dad's heart.
I remember on December 22, 2003, my wedding day, my Dad walked me down the aisle to the song of Butterfly Kisses. As he was standing there waiting for me to lock my arm around his arm, he looked at me. He gave me a half smile and then my tears just started to fall. I walked down the aisle crying and when it was time for my Dad to "give me away" I hugged him sooo tightly knowing that in a few moments, my Dad would have to share me with another man. The man my Dad would trust my life to for the years to come.
In the still of the night.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
|Your Blogging Type is Logical and Principled|
1. FAME -- I so love love love this movie. I watched it when I was about 6 or 7 and I fell in love with it. "...I sing the body electric. I celebrate the me yet to come. I toast to my own reunion. When I become one with the stars..."
2. Cutting Edge -- Perfect Chemistry between Kate Moseley and Doug Dorsey. Toe pick!
3. Fools Rush In -- Matthew Perry I Love You!
4. Sleepless In Seattle -- Who doesn't love this movie!?!
5. Rainman -- watched it for the 1st time on a flight en route from Amsterdam to Tanzania. I was 6 1/2. But I loved it. I cried. I watched it again when I was 13 or 14. I loved it. I cried.
6. Weekend At Bernie's -- Almost died laughing.
7. Pretty Woman -- My Mom watched in when I was 7 and she did not allow me to watch it until I was 15, I think, but I had to look away when there were scenes I wasn't supposed to see. Watched this around 22 times after that.
8. Beaches -- Starring Bette Midler and Barabara Hershey. I cried again. That was sad.
9. With Honors -- Brendan Fraser and Moira Kelly -- so cute together in this film. Cried again.
10. To Kill A Mockingbird -- although I like the book the best.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Me: Uh ok honey...why do you want peanuts? You have a lot of cookies and biscuits in the cupboard.
Josh: Because I want to be strong like Popeye! He eats peanuts and then he becomes so strong with all his muscles!
Me: Oh! Josh, Popeye doesn't eat peanuts, he eats SPINACH! I could get some spinach later...
(Josh sits and thinks for a while)
Josh: Oh so, Dora speaks SPINACH
Me: No sweetheart, Dora speaks Spanish
Sunday, February 11, 2007
How do I teach my 5 year old little boy the value of money? Jet and I would want to start teaching Josh the importance of saving. Ideally, we would want to come up with some sort of a uh, "project" for him which will involve his having to save up money in order to "buy" a simple toy he really wants. Like we were thinking of coming up with a reward system where we will give him x amount of money if he ____(fill in the blank with a verb, for as long as it is anything legal for a 5 year old to do)_____ which he will save up in his piggy bank. Every 2 weeks, we will allow him to check on his savings and if it sums up to a reasonable amount wherein he can use the money to buy himself a toy he has been eyeing, then he can go ahead and do so. BUT we will also offer him the option of not spending his money YET, instead, he will continue to save up so that his savings increase therefore allowing him to buy a toy he wants even more (usually something more expensive). Aside from this, I want to teach him the importance of also saving part of his money for long-term purposes. We opened an account for him and we would want him to realize that he will also have to contribute to the "accumulating" of his wealth (HAH that made me laugh).
So there, do you have simpler ways in mind? Any system you have tried with your kids which you may want to suggest I try?
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Josh turns 5 in 17 days. 5!?! Eeeesh. This is what I have been dreading, another year older. Last night, I asked him "Hey Josh, how old are you going to be on your birthday?" and he says " I'm turning 5! Mom, I can't wait to be 20." And I asked him "Why?" and he said "Because I want to be a big brother to Dash." And I said, "But you are his big brother Josh, no matter how old you are" and Josh stopped to think for a while and said "No, I want to be a big big big brother. Bigger than I am now."
Oh no kid, I don't think you'd want to be 20. Don't equate age with size please. Haha. But of course I didn't burst his bubble.
Kids say the darnest things.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Sunday, after Sunday worship, hubby, Josh, Dash and I had lunch out. It was a splendid sunny yet chilly afternoon. The nice thing too about Josh is that, dining out is all worth it in the sense that when we order him a separate meal (if he shares a meal with me or Jet, one of us is bound to be left with a half filled tummy), he really finishes it. You know, like we get our money's worth because he can finish up a whole meal by himself. So everybody full, everybody happy.
I am back to work. A bit refreshed as compared to how I was feeling last week. I am just feeling a bit uh, OK, lazy. For the past week, I have been transcribing L-O-N-G case hearings. Aside from the fact that it is required of me to do so, it also helps me a lot when it comes to documenting the whole case. But still. Gawd it takes up soooo much of my time. I wish this particular case be closed soon. It involves one of our managers who has certain issues raised against him -- performance, attendance and ethics issues to be exact. And yeah, I have asked myself as well as my boss numerous times -- Why Not Terminate? But then again there is what we call Just Cause and Due Process. A lot of times, as in a lot of companies, there is always "Just Cause" but often fail when it comes to the technicalities of "Due Process." So even if the process IS (damn) tedious, time consuming and draining, it is a MUST that we follow the proper system. All part of the " Best Practices" every company should possess. But then again, arghhhh. SO yeah, I hope this gets closed soon or I'm going to lose my mind. Like I haven't lost it yet.
How was your weekend?
Saturday, February 3, 2007
I go throught times of drought, like I just feel so dry inside. A lot of questions flood my mind and my heart aches a bit. Lately, I have found myself trying to asses and reasses my life. I can't quite explain what this is all about nut you know, there are times when I'm in the office and I suddenly wonder what the hell I'm doing here. Shouldn't I be home with the kids? And then I look around me and see a bunch of yuppies, perfectly driven and motivated, determined to climb that steep corporate ladder then I suddenly realize that although I have my kids to take care of, I would also want to join that race and climb the ladder too. ANd then it hits me, am I being too selfish? I don't know.
What about my plans of continuing with my Master's degree? How come I haven't started working on the applucation process? Which got me to think, that if I continue working full time and then enroll this coming semester, I would probably have less quality time with the kids. Unless I pretend to be Superwoman. But I know that it the end, the kids are going to grow up on me and will eventually have a life of their own and I wouldn't want to lose my life now and then later on start trying to look for one when the kids are gone.
I love my family terribly that's why it probably hurts so much at times.
On top of these emotions, I find myself looking for my Mom. She was the only who would never get tired of listening to me. Yes I have friends who I can talk to and pour out my heart and soul to, but sometimes I just feel like not telling them. Like a friend of mine asked me yesterday how I was doing because I didn't look to good, I just felt like telling her " I'm ok, don't worry, I just feel sad because the caterpillar in our backyard got squished by our dog."
We have our good days, we have our bad.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Lousy pictures, I know, there were just too many parents trying to get pictures of their kids. After the program, Jet, Josh and I had lunch out.