Every mother dreams big for her kids. When they are still babies, you imagine so much for them - from graduating as engineers or successfully practicing med or building their business empires. You can't help but want them to do good in life. To make them find their niche in this world and do good in the craft the have decided to focus on.
As they grow up, grow past diapers and bottles, you slowly learn to recognize who they are. Their temperaments, their likes & dislikes, their dispositions allow us to dream even bigger than ever. As they enter school, so many external factors further contribute to their character. You begin to realize that there are so many things you wish you could control but cannot. Slowly, they minds and their hearts are shaped not only by what they learn at home but more so by what they absorb during their 6 hour stay in school with the interaction of 20 other 8 year olds and their teacher. It is a mix of beliefs, stories and experiences. Some of which I would warmly allow my son to embrace, some I would rather make him close his ears to.
As his first year in grade school came to a close, I was more than proud when Josh was awarded the "Most Cooperative" character award. More than just the academics, the Christian school where he is enrolled at, awards such character awards to students who they truly believe posses such character through out the whole school year. Each teacher is allowed to nominate students for these character awards which also include such awards as "Most Friendly," "Most Submissive," "Most Helpful," etc. and once the name of the student is included in the list, the list is passed around and every teacher and every staff of the whole school shall take part in the elimination and voting of who should be given the award.
Holding back my tears, I told myself-- no matter how messed up I have been, how young I was when I had him, how confused and broken I have been, at least I know his Dad and I are still doing something right.
I Love You Josh.