Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Wish I Could But I Couldn't. And With This, I Am Sorry.

How were you as a kid? I mean when you were in pre school or elementary or highschool what kind of a kid were you?

Were you a:

star of the class
attention grabber
class clown
push over
genius of the class
super athlete
leader type

Add to the list if you wish.

I'd want to think I was a good kid-- uh a kind kid but I think NOT. Growing up, I used to have a bunch of girlfriends. We wanted to believe that we were the smartest, prettiest and coolest girls in the class. Continue the story if you want. And yes, we excluded the timid, quiet and shy ones out of our group. Until this day when we have reunions, we tend to forget or leave out a couple of classmates who we neer really made any effort to get to know.

And I regret every single moment of it today.

My 5 year old came home today and told me "Mom, Sam said he does not want to be my friend." I couldn't count how many times my heart broke when I heard him say that. What did you tell Sam I asked? Josh replied, "But your still my friend, I said."

And so, to all those I hurt in the past- whether I was aware of it or not, I truly am sorry.

I really am.


C said...

Oh, my goodness! That's enough to make one's heart sink! That Josh of yours is one special boy :)

I was a friendly, kind, sweet, quiet type when I was in kindergarten. I was really timid. As I grew older, I became quite the opposite! Boisterous, outgoing, super friendly, very social. Now, as an adult, I find that I have finally found a happy medium. I don't need to be the center of attention all the time and I don't need to hide in the background. It's funny how one notices these changes as we grow older!

Amy said...

It is painful when our children get rejected.

I stood in a playground and watched a 5 year old tell my 3 year old that she didn't want to play with her. I was crushed and wanted to cry. My 3 year old burst into tears. You wish you could protect them from all of this, but you can't.

I used that experience to teach my daughter that it is never okay to exclude someone from playing with her.

PinksandBluesGirls said...

I was kind of a "good kid" all throughout school, and I really tried to make an effort with everyone. Not that it worked all the time, though. :) I hate that kids have to feel that rejection ever. Just another one of life's lessons that will hopefully make them stronger... as hard as it may be for the ones who love them!

Jane, Pinks & Blues

Pavel said...

Oh, wow, I can so relate to this. Posts like these are why I like coming here, you talk about real things... I can easily look back and find things that I wish I could have done differently. Did I treat this person okay? Was I too harsh with this one? Now I don't see them any more and I can't make things better, then comes the regret.

I hate seeing when my three kids have their different friends over and they try to exclude each other from playing with their friends.

As for your little boy, this is one sweet little guy. I can only imagine that he'll have lots of friends throughout his life.

Midas said...

I would like to believe I was a benevolent dictator....

It's painful to hear from our children about their hurts. I guess it's part of growing up, but that never make it easy to hear.

SusieJ said...

Louann, I forgive you!! I was not very social in school. Josh is not taking on your sins... kids can be so's painful... so painful to watch.

Midas said...

Louann, I got something for you here.

I just thought of you when I got it.