New Year, New Reads

**Edited: Sorry for the backwards pictures. I held the books up using Photobooth because I was too lazy tp take pictures of them with my camera and then upload them.
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There are 3 books I have to make sure I read this coming new year. Essentials-- I may say to survive the year ahead.

1. Bringing Up BoysFor the simple reason that I have 3 boys.

2. The Dangerous Book For Boys
I remember stories of my Dad about his childhood. Of tadpoles and crickets. Of scars and bruises. Fond memories of his boyscout days. I wish I paid more attention. I wish I knew better. But who would have known? I was a girl. My interests revolved around paper dolls and cooking sets.
Now there's no one to ask.
This book will help me get through.


3. A Year In High Heels Because in spite of the fact that our home is filled with testosterone, nothing will change the fact that I am a still a girl.

I Just Can't Get Enough

There's just something magical about this island for me. The white sand, the clear, calm waters and the blue skies make me feel like I'm in paradise. The sun burns. The water cools. I just can't get enough of it.

He Would Have Been 60.

Happy 60th Dad.
I miss you so much.
Each day I still wish you were still alive -- still with us to celebrate life.
It pains me to know that my sons will never grow up with a Grandpa.

I Love You.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas, for most of us is a time when families get together. Eat. And enjoy the merrymaking. It for me, is made more special when relatives come home for the holidays and are able to spend quality time together. It warms our hearts.

Plus I get 2 weeks off from work. Heaven!

Merry Christmas everyone! How was yours?

How I Really Feel

When I am pregnant I am moody, needy, clingy, unpredictable, emotional. And the person who has to bear most of my bad side is my husband. Of course because I expect him to understand what I'm going through. Some may say its psychological or all in the mind. I don't know. But sometimes, he just doesn't get it. And when he doesn't, I get all sensitive about it and would rather pout in one corner and sulk. Ok, you may add immature, childish and selfish to the list.

But seriously? That's what I hate about being pregnant. I'm just so full of insecurities inside. I find myself not being able to do things on my own anymore. Like a handicapped person, I can't move without someone beside me. And I prefer that someone to be my husband.

A bunch of emotions surges all over me and often times I don't know what to do with the feeling. I prefer not to tell anyone about how I feel out of sheer fear that they would tell me that I'm being unreasonable. And the feelings bottled up inside just make me feel like I want to explode anytime.

I'm glad I just have 87 days to go. Still a long time but I know we'll get there.

Is it just me? Am I the problem?

I'd Rather Have This Conversation 10 Years From Now

At the dinner table

Josh: I have a crush

SILENCE

Me: Really? Who is she?

Josh: Uhm...Her name is Yuwi.

Me: What's her real name? Or complete name? Is it just Yuwi?

Josh: I don't know her complete name.

Me: Is she you friend? Why don't you ask her tomorrow.

Josh: I can't and she's not my friend.

Me: Why not?

Josh: Us boys don't talk to the girls.

Me: Why?

Josh: Because.

Me: Is she a nice girl?

Josh: She's adorable mom.

GEEEEEEZ.

I'm Marking Each Day with an X

It has been, for the past 3 years-- and if I may start calling it, a family tradition (my Dad's side of the family) to have an out of town vacation when relatives from abroad come home for the holidays. My uncle and cousin flew in from Canada a week ago. In 5 days, my other cousin from Oregon is arriving and in a week, my Aunt and 2 of my cousins will be arriving from Canada as well.

I love family time. And I love it even more when a lot of them can make it home. Partly because without having any siblings (and now, parents), it sure can get so damn lonely.

So in 6 days 3 Aunts, 1 Uncle, 5 cousins, 2 sons and a husband are heading off to the beach for some great family time.

Like a child who has been promised her dream toy for Christmas, I can't wait for Friday to come when I get to shut down my computer at work, lock my cabinets and bid my officemates a 5 day farewell to go give myself a well deserved break.

'Tis The Season

The cool breeze....The Christmas songs...

The word SALE posted on almost every store window...
Christmas sure is in the air!

And I love it!

When Hearts Silently Break

Last week, my pre schooler brought a donut to school for his snack. When I got home, our househelp / nanny informed me that she found that my son only finished half of his donut. I wondered why. My son loves that particular kind of donut. So I asked him. He said:

"Jacob saw my donut, got it from me while I was eating it and then licked it and then returned it to me."

Seriously? I wanted to smack the kid. That Jacob. How dare him.

I asked my son why Jacob did that and he said he didn't know. I asked him if he did anything to Jacob and he said he didn't do anything. I asked him what he did after Jacob did that and he said he just kept what was left of his snack. I asked him if he told his teacher about it and he said he didn't.

So I wrote my son's teacher quite a lengthy letter.

What do you do when your child is bullied?

I had to explain to my son that he should never allow people to treat him that way. Be nice to others but defend yourself when you need to. I will not be there to always protect him. The day will come when he will have to fend for himself -- he will have to face the harsh realities of this world on his own. And it breaks my heart -- it always does.

Anyway, the teacher apologized, informed me that she informed Jacob's parents, etc.

I understand that its something we as parents can never control. we can't always shield our children, I know that. But you know, when our children get hurt, silently our hearts break.

Can You Tell Me How To Get To...

Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow and fantasy

If anybody can give me directions going to such a place, please feel free to leave me a comment.

My New Job

I never really had a problem leaving my 2 1/2 year old son when he was a baby and I had to leave for work. I figured he was a bit more secure so when I would have to turn him over to the nanny when it was time for me to leave for work, he would barely fuss. I'd kiss him and hug him and would tell him I'd be back. No issues.

Until 2 weeks ago when he probably decided it was time to make an issue out of it. While leaving for work one day, he looked at me with his puppy dog eyes while making sure his smile showed his deep dimples and said "Mom? I go with you?" I explained he had to stay, just like he always did. I told him I'd be back. "No Mom, I go with you." I explained again. "No Mom. I GO WITH YOU." (His tone of voice slightly changing). So I embraced him and told him how exciting his day was going to be -- play in the garden, bike out front, eat cookies. "I go with you Mom." I knew a tantrum was coming. I was running late. Everything started to get messy.

So I did the unforgivable.

I lied. Aarghh.

"Mom's going to the office to get rid of all the big cockroach! Do you want to come with me?"

His eyes grew wide and suddenly he was so concerned about my safety. He gets terrified when he hears the word cockroach or sees a cockroach. "Mom go whip cockooch?"

So now, everytime I come home from work I have a 2 1/2 year old little boy who runs to greet me at the door ever so thankful that nothing happened to his mom while at work while killing the cockroach. "Mommy!! No more cockooch?" "Yey Mom!!"

Now I'm a hero. The incredible cockroach killer. That's what I do now for a living.

Look Away. Its A Pregnancy Update.

So I went for my 23rd week OB check up. So far I have gained 2kg. It's pretty bad but my OB said the baby is growing bigger and bigger and seems healthy. I'm thinking that I probably am losing the weight but its going to the baby. I lost a total of 2kgs during my 1st trisem and then sort of didn't gain the past month. This is the smallest weight gain I have had compared to my past 2 pregnancies with my 6 year old and 2 year old. I'm not really worried because I still look huge and my belly is getting bigger by the day.

I have a low lying placenta and the baby seems to be in breech position. Good thing I'm really going to deliver via CS.

I have chosen a delivery date which will be March 3rd. I found the 03-06-09 thing nice.

As for the name, we're still thinking about it. I can't believe I have just 3 more months left.