My 5 Year Old

Me: Baby, come here pls. Baby! come here, baby.
(calling my 5 year old)

Dash: I'm not a baby Moms!

Me: Well, you are my baby. Come here baby.

Dash: I'm not a baby Moms! I'm a lad.

Me: What?! Lad?! Do you know what a lad is?

Dash: Yes. A small boy.

Me: Uhh ok. Come here then, lad.

Dash: Coming lass!

Me: (Thinking, seriously?!?)

Me: Lass? Am I a lass?

Dash: Yes, you're a small girl.

Me: Small girl? I'm a small girl?

Dash: Yes, you're much smaller than Dad.

Thanks kid. I mean, thanks lad.

Really.