Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Nipping It At The Bud

I went to see a child therapist today. It all started with my desire to have my kids assessed in terms of their intellectual and cognitive skills mainly for my 5 year old because at 5 years old and in his last year of pre school, his teachers say that he is ready for 1st grade. In our country, one must be at least 6 1/2 years old when the child enters 1st grade. Dash turns 6 in May and if we do decide to put him in 1st grade by June of next year, will only be 6 and a few days old when he starts grade school. My questions are, is he really ready - intellectually and emotionally?
Since I have a friend who is a child therapist and works at a center for childrens needs, I asked her opinion and she was very supportive and thought it would be a good idea for me to have the boys assessed. In the first place, they do not allow mere assessment (testing). The kids will also have to go through play sessions to evoke a more wholistic picture of the child to the therapist.
As the session went on, I talked about my 3 boys giving detailed descriptions of each of them. As the session went on, the therapists perception of the picture I painted in her mind was that Josh, my eldest, is the one who needs the assessment the most.
Josh is a boy who has seen a lot. He was born to me when I was a teenager and when I had him, I didn't exactly mature overnight. I had no idea what I was doing as a mother back then. I was torn between the fact that I needed to be a mother but I also still wanted to do things that teenagers did. When Josh was only 2, he witnessed 3 deaths in the family - my mom, my dad and my husbands dad - all of whom were very close to him. After my parents death, times were tough. I was also 6weeks pregnant with my second My husband was also having a hard time coping with his dads death. I often turned to Josh and poured out my heart to my then 3 year old son. I remember he would sit beside me and listen to me cry while stroking my hair. After that, things happened so fast, I had my 2nd child and then my 3rd. Josh was in a way, required to grow up too soon.
Toady, I have a very kind 9 year old but often times I notice that he worries too much and can get anxious easily especially when he finds himself in uncertain situations. He sometimes lacks confidence in the things he does as he is often overshadowed by the assertiveness of Dash.
This is all preemptive I think. Plus I would also want to hear it from someone else -- whatever there is to be said. So we start in 2 weeks - meaning Josh will be going for his first session with the therapist.
We'll see where this will take us. Somewhere, I know.


Shoshana said...

Louann, it all depends on the child. both of my oldest two were in first grade when they were 6. My 3 child was in school when he was a few weeks before his 3rd birthday. It's because he can't speak but has reasoning (mathematically) ability of a 9 years old. I have a 7 years old in 2nd grade now (my 4th child). All of them seem fine and doing well in school. Then here comes my baby. He was in pre-K at 5, but decided he's just a baby. He quit with the help of a loud neurotic teacher. Now he's 5, and he's on K. He's going to be 6 before K is out.

You know your child best. You'll probably know what to do best in the end.

louann said...

Thanks for the insights Shosh.

Heart of Rachel said...

The assessment sounds like a good idea to learn more about your kids' strengths and weaknesses. The whole experience may help you determine what traits or behavior to encourage and those that need to be worked on.

Good luck! Hope it will be a great experience for you and the kids.