My emotions, I mean.
The other day was my 6 year old's moving up day. He finished his Prep I year. I was blessed to have been able to off set my rest day so that I could attend the event. They sang and recited a poem and danced and in the middle of it all, I found myself crying. There was again, a surge of emotions that rushed through me as I listened to their teacher say something about how fast the year went by for him and the children - how much they grew and developed. And the teacher thanked us parents as well for playing such an important role in nurturing our children. I was taking a video of the program and I found myself wiping my tears while trying to hide it from the rest of the crowd.
I imagined how much my Mom and Dad would have gone gaga over this event if they were still with us.
I could not believe how far we have come - me, my husband and Josh. I had him when I was 19, totally unplanned but wanted. When I delivered him, there was just so much love for him. It was not easy and I think raising a child will never be, but it has been, so far, the best adventure of my life. This school year he will be in Prep II and by next year he will be in 1st grade. 1st grade?!?
My life flashed before me. I found myself asking why this is my life now. Just wondering why, not asking for more not wanting less. Not expecting this or not wanting that. Just wondering my this is how everything turned out the way it is.
I will never get the answer, I figured.