Done With One, 3 More To Go

Excerpts from my "parents response speech"

"...4 years ago, we watched our children, then only 3 years old, enter the school gates of Small World. I'm sure most of you co-parents will agree when I say that on their first day of school, our hearts silently broke..."

"...As parents, I believe we share the same mix of emotions today. We are proud about how far we've come along with raising our pre-schoolers but at the same time we are saddened too for today stands as yet another reminder that our children grow up way too fast..."

"...Congratulations too co- parents. From bottles and diapers to school uniforms and homework. We too graduate to greater parenting challenges..."

"...Teachers, thank you. We slowly learned to entrust our children to you. Thank you for being patient with them, thank you for caring for them, thank you for being a part of their lives..."

A Few Concerns Of A 7 Year Old

1. When can I start using that thing? That thing you and dad use? The deodorant thing?

2. When can my friends sleep here at home?

3. When can I go to school alone?

4. If I have a sister, can I marry her?

Of This I'm Sure

He's not too sure about what to make of his baby brother...






But one thing is for sure, he adores him.

Slowly. Eventually. Maybe. Hoepfully.

What are you faced with when you become a first time mother? There's the whole 9 month waiting game and then the whole birthing process. After which comes the nursing, soiled diapers, burping and 3AM crying issues. Mashed foods comes next. Crawling and walking shortly follows.

After their 1st birthday, it slows down a little. And then the toddler years enter. Personality and character soon enters the picture. Suddenly, we have to take disciplining very seriously. Before you know it, you're bringing them to school to start nursery.

And just when we think the worst has passed, we are faced with yet another hurdle-- gradeschool.

In 4 weeks, I will be sending off my 7 year old son to 1st grade. 8 years ago, he was a tiny bean in my tummy. I thought 3 hours of school each day was long enough, soon he will be gone for 6 hours each day. That's double the worry I will have to face.

Milestones like these exist to remind me once again that I can never keep my children to myself forever. Much as I would want to just have them with me, beside me forever, that will never happen. One day, they will find their own lives, their own interests, their own life partners. And slowly, I will have to happily let them go. To find their niche in this world.

I feel his hand slowly loosening its grip on my hand. I'm finding it hard to loosen mine.

Thoughts on Breastfeeding.

As I said in my last post, I have been obsessed about breastfeeding. What's there not to love about it? Actually, there is a lot.

First of all, it is very uncomfortable at first. Secondly, it can make your nipples extremely sore. The baby who is breastfed requires more frequent feedings that those on formula. You can never leave baby for long hours. It can be exhausting.

And that's precisely why I only breastfed my eldest for 2 1/2 months.

But when I had my 2nd, I felt determined to try breastfeeding longer.

Breastfeeding is a choice. Especially for women living in countries where infant formula milk is very accessible. Unless you live in a remote jungle somewhere in the Amazon, we can get formula milk in all groceries. I also feel, that one has to be ready physically and emotionally before deciding whether or not to breastfeed. If one feels she is not 100% sure about breastfeeding baby, it's not really going to work. Why? Refer to 2nd paragraph.

So what's there not to love about breastfeeding? First of all, think of all the benefits that baby can get from it. There's the stronger immune system, less digestive problems and the comfort that baby can get. Second, it is the best and easiest way for new mommies to lose weight. Third, it is was cheaper than spending on formula milk.

It works for some and it doesn't for others. But then again, it is a choice.

During the first 3 days postpartum, I hardly had any milk supply. I felt so tired and frustrated. I didn't feel good physically. I felt sick. And I was so tempted to send the husband to the nearest drugstore to get a can of infant formula.

I am happy I didn't. I had to remind myself a million times not to give up.

When there isn't enough milk, you can always take supplements. Prepare soup every meal -- preferably broth with lots of ginger. Drink a lot -- be it water, juice or milk. Eat healthy. And think positive. And again, think of the benefits it will have on your baby.

This And That

No new photos yet. Just a random rundown of updates.
--
It's been, let's see, 15 days since I gave birth. So far, the little one has been doing really good by giving me enough sleep at night. He eats, burps, poops and sleeps. No big fuss during the night. I have been breastfeeding (and loving it) and have been pumping and storing milk in the freezer. I think I am obsessed about this whole breastfeeding thing! Well, during the 1st 3 days, I had so little milk. The little one would demand to be fed every 30 minutes and I felt like completely giving up breastfeeding. BUT just thinking about the benefits the little one would get reminded me to just "keep going." So I did. And now I think I have to much milk.

I've lost a total of 14lbs so far. Of course I am ecstatic!

My 7 year old graduated from pre school today. More on that also later.
--

How have all of you been?

How It All Happened

I went for my last pre natal check up on the 4th. My OB gave me instructions about when to go to the hospital, what to expect when I get to the hospital, etc. At this point, I was freaking out - again. Even after 3 CS deliveries, I tell you, the fear of giving birth DOES NOT go away. Questions like "what if I don't wake up after the operation," "what if something is wrong with the baby," "what if I become paralyzed" were making me all dizzy.

I tried to sleep that night.

The next day, I did some very last minute errands and then my husband and I trooped to the hospital around 4 in the afternoon. I went straight to the OB department and went through their standard SOP procedures. The medical resident who was attending to me kept looking at me and then she finally said that I looked so familiar. And then a light bulb lit up "I also took care of you 2 years ago!" Haha. She was in her 2nd year of residency when I gave birth in 2006 and now she is finishing her 4th and last year. I sort of felt good knowing that I was in good hands.

Half way through, the medical resident said that my OB called and gave her instructions to do an I.E. (internal exam). I hate I.E.'s!! So I asked why it was necessary given that I was going to be operated on the next day anyway. Anyway, after a few attempts of persuading them not to follow my OB's instructions, I had to be an obedient patient and do what they asked me to do. It turns out that I was already 2cm dilated and 40% effaced. That was so funny for me. At that point, I sort of hoped I would go into labor so that the labor pains would help distract me from the whole CS paranoia.

They monitored me through the night because I was also having contractions already. But to my dismay, labor did not arrive.

So, at 6 the next day, I took a shower -- feeling totally nervous already-- and tried to prep myself. They picked me up from my room at 7 and wheeled me to the OR to prepare me. Oh my gosh let me just say, I thought I was going to die! Die of fear. The nurses and interns in their scrubs, the smell of the antiseptic, the white walls and the cold, cold feel of the operating room was perfect for my cardiac arrest! Everyone who asked me how I was doing got the same response from me "I'm not Ok. I'm scared." That was exactly how I was in 2006 during my 2nd delivery. Of course when I look back at the experience now, I can't help but laugh!

Anyway, one by one, my doctors started to arrive. The anesthesiologist came first. She's a bit ripe n age already but is the sweetest lady ever. She asked me how I was doing - and she got the same answer-- and she said "Don't be scared, I'm going to take care of you. I took care of you during you're 1st and 2nd CS operations and I'm going to do the same now." Then my OB came. She knows me all too well. Without saying anything to her, she squeezed my hand and said "you're so tense again. Relax." And then she prayed for me. Then the pediatrician came. All bubbly and excited.

Then in an instant, they were asking me to go into fetal position already. Oh my gosh I thought I was really really going to pass out. My OB held my hand and then told me not to move because the needle was in already. Oh my gosh! And then it happened so fast. I could feel my feet numbing already so the nurses had to help me get back to the flat lying position. And then the anesthesiologist started testing up to where the anesthesia already reached. Before I knew it they were all around my stomach area already. One anesthesiology intern (who was very kind enough to hold my hand through out the whole thing) kept me updated about what was going on. And then she said "Ok, they're already in."

There were so many voices and so many people talking I was so dizzy. "Ok last layer," "There's your baby's head now," "Oh my there's a lot of hair!" "We're going to have to push him out a little," "You're going to feel some pressure'" "Oh he's a lot bigger than we expected." But this is what really got me, my OB said "He's a girl." My world stopped for a moment there. The first thought that came to my mind was "NO that can't be. I'm having a boy." And then she says "Kidding." And then we all laughed.

"There he is!" everyone said.

Then I heard his cry. And then I passed out.

He's Here!

Euan Arrow. March 6, 2009. 3.28kg. 50cm.

Almost There

It's been a month - or more than a month- since I last posted! Many reasons.

I will be giving birth in 5 days, can you believe it? Aside from being busy preparing the baby things I will be needing, I have been busier trying to prepare the 2 boys and myself for the coming of yet another baby boy. I have mixed feelings again right now. Excited but also scared. Scared of the whole operation, about the whole adjustment period and the added responsibility of bringing another human into this world.

Please pray for me and the baby.

Will post pictures as soon as.