How It All Happened

I went for my last pre natal check up on the 4th. My OB gave me instructions about when to go to the hospital, what to expect when I get to the hospital, etc. At this point, I was freaking out - again. Even after 3 CS deliveries, I tell you, the fear of giving birth DOES NOT go away. Questions like "what if I don't wake up after the operation," "what if something is wrong with the baby," "what if I become paralyzed" were making me all dizzy.

I tried to sleep that night.

The next day, I did some very last minute errands and then my husband and I trooped to the hospital around 4 in the afternoon. I went straight to the OB department and went through their standard SOP procedures. The medical resident who was attending to me kept looking at me and then she finally said that I looked so familiar. And then a light bulb lit up "I also took care of you 2 years ago!" Haha. She was in her 2nd year of residency when I gave birth in 2006 and now she is finishing her 4th and last year. I sort of felt good knowing that I was in good hands.

Half way through, the medical resident said that my OB called and gave her instructions to do an I.E. (internal exam). I hate I.E.'s!! So I asked why it was necessary given that I was going to be operated on the next day anyway. Anyway, after a few attempts of persuading them not to follow my OB's instructions, I had to be an obedient patient and do what they asked me to do. It turns out that I was already 2cm dilated and 40% effaced. That was so funny for me. At that point, I sort of hoped I would go into labor so that the labor pains would help distract me from the whole CS paranoia.

They monitored me through the night because I was also having contractions already. But to my dismay, labor did not arrive.

So, at 6 the next day, I took a shower -- feeling totally nervous already-- and tried to prep myself. They picked me up from my room at 7 and wheeled me to the OR to prepare me. Oh my gosh let me just say, I thought I was going to die! Die of fear. The nurses and interns in their scrubs, the smell of the antiseptic, the white walls and the cold, cold feel of the operating room was perfect for my cardiac arrest! Everyone who asked me how I was doing got the same response from me "I'm not Ok. I'm scared." That was exactly how I was in 2006 during my 2nd delivery. Of course when I look back at the experience now, I can't help but laugh!

Anyway, one by one, my doctors started to arrive. The anesthesiologist came first. She's a bit ripe n age already but is the sweetest lady ever. She asked me how I was doing - and she got the same answer-- and she said "Don't be scared, I'm going to take care of you. I took care of you during you're 1st and 2nd CS operations and I'm going to do the same now." Then my OB came. She knows me all too well. Without saying anything to her, she squeezed my hand and said "you're so tense again. Relax." And then she prayed for me. Then the pediatrician came. All bubbly and excited.

Then in an instant, they were asking me to go into fetal position already. Oh my gosh I thought I was really really going to pass out. My OB held my hand and then told me not to move because the needle was in already. Oh my gosh! And then it happened so fast. I could feel my feet numbing already so the nurses had to help me get back to the flat lying position. And then the anesthesiologist started testing up to where the anesthesia already reached. Before I knew it they were all around my stomach area already. One anesthesiology intern (who was very kind enough to hold my hand through out the whole thing) kept me updated about what was going on. And then she said "Ok, they're already in."

There were so many voices and so many people talking I was so dizzy. "Ok last layer," "There's your baby's head now," "Oh my there's a lot of hair!" "We're going to have to push him out a little," "You're going to feel some pressure'" "Oh he's a lot bigger than we expected." But this is what really got me, my OB said "He's a girl." My world stopped for a moment there. The first thought that came to my mind was "NO that can't be. I'm having a boy." And then she says "Kidding." And then we all laughed.

"There he is!" everyone said.

Then I heard his cry. And then I passed out.