Friday, October 5, 2007

I Fell In Love

Yes I did. I fell in love. It happened during the time the husband was gone.

Maybe it was because I lost my focus. I guess when the person you pay a lot of attention to is not in sight, you have a tendency to shift your attention to something or someone else. In my case, I ended up diverting my attention to 2 people, who in the past 5 days have allowed me to fall in love all over again.

It is a wonderful feeling. Memories and feelings of many years ago suddenly came rushing back, filling my heart with an overwhelming sense of happiness! And I am very sure that they felt exactly the same way.

For the first time in a long time, it was all about me. All the attention was on me as well. I felt special, I felt loved, I felt wanted, I felt appreciated. I loved the feeling! I could not help it. And to this very minute, I still close my eyes and savor that wonderful feeling!

I fell in love. They fell in love.

It's all about 'Mama' this time. The older one knew the absence of their father but the younger one was a bit confused. But everytime I would arrive home, they would happily jump around and then run to me to embrace me. The eyes of my older one would light up. The younger one would hug my leg. They would clamor for my attention waiting for me to listen to what they had to say about their day. They would be excited to sit down and listen to me read them books. They'd be excited to play with me. And for the first time in a long time, they made me feel so cool. We have been enjoying every single minute together.

I would just look at them and would just be very thankful that these boys were given to us. Heaven sent. For a minute it crossed my mind that I was not worthy.

I thought having the husband away would have been so bad. But as the days have gone by, I have actually enjoyed it. Maybe because as I said, my attention was completely diverted. This time, all the attention was not divided, it was all focused on just the children. And I am sure they loved it too. They looked for their Dad constantly during the first 2 days. The little one would run to the window and shout "Dada! and would peep to see if the car was in the driveway." The older one would ask me where his Dad was, I would explain to him and he would just say "oh men!" I think now they understand and are actually happy. They know their Dad would be back in a few days. To start another chapter of his life.

Before the my husband left on Sunday night, he said (and I will never forget), "This is for you and the boys babe."

And I fell in love all over again.

I'm glad I did. I'm glad this happened.

6 comments:

Stepping Over the Junk said...

lovely!!

Midas said...

Hi Louann, glad to find you again (I worried about you when I couldn't)

That is so nice...to fall in love all over again.

PinksandBluesGirls said...

ahh... that's a fantastic post!! loved it!! thanks for sharing this.

SusieJ said...

I knew you'd be fine!!

JohnnyO said...

Thanks for sharing. You have a gift for writing. A very interesting perspective. I travel occasionally for work & I wonder & hope my wife re-connects with the kids. I certainly love to re-connect with my children when I return from travel. - JohnnyO http://fatherhoodmatters.blogspot.com

Karen MEG said...

A special time for you and your boys. It is so nice that they fell in love with you again too. Too often you feel, as a mother, that your kids take you for granted. It's easy for them to because the majority of the time Mom is the one always "doing". Not so much the "playing".
I'm sure you'll all be so happy though, when Dada comes home :)