Tuesday, August 26, 2008
In The Long Run
Last weeks long weekend (not so long for me since I had a job fair on Saturday) + glorious sunshiny weather, spelled B-E-A-C-H time for us. We decided to leave for the beach after church on Sunday.
While discussing plans with the husband in the car, my 6 year old decided that he had plans of his own. He wasn't coming with us. So I asked him where he was expecting to spend the night. He said he'd be OK at my MIL's. At 6, he had it all planned out. So after the husband spoke with my MIL and made the necessary arrangements, off to the beach it was.My 2 year old was going to be "an only child" for the weekend! It did excite me. All attention on him, NO FIGHTING (that's the best part), no whining and no telling on each other. How great would that be?
How is life as an only child?
My eldest had that for 4 years. All his baby clothes were new. All his baby things were new. All his toys were new. He didn't need to share anything to anyone. Family time centered around what HE wanted to do.
I have that life until the day I die. And let me tell you it can get pretty damn lonely. It wasn't a choice that she just had me. My mom lost one before she had me and one more when I was around 3 years old. Although I never had the latest and coolest toys or clothes, the one things I always had was the attention. Whether it was for something good that I did or something not so nice. All eyes were always on me. Growing up, I learned to play alone. I thought talking to myself until the age of 12 was pretty normal. When I did get to play with my cousins, fighting would always ensue. I never really understood what it meant when my Aunts would tell my cousins to "take care of your little sister." When I got older and shared secrets with friends and vice versa, they would tell me "you're the only one who knows aside from sisters name. When I reached adulthood and I became part of the decision making process at home, there was no need to consider other siblings thoughts or opinions. But the hardest part came when my parents died. The true essence of being an only child became so so real to me. Everything that had to be decided on was on me. The responsibility never divided. Shoulders heavy. Heart broken.
I smile just by the thought that one day, my children will have each other all the way.