Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A HUGE Decision

This may be a controversial post to some. For me, I just need your thoughts on it.

In 6 weeks, I will be delivering our 3rd baby. And I have to decide whether this will be my last one. Whether I will decide to permanently say goodbye to the chances of having another baby again.

There are many many things going through my mind right now. I have had sleepless nights just thinking about it. I have been open about my use of contraceptives -- pills and shots. But now I have to decide whether or not I go for a ligation already or not. My husband is 90% sure that I should go for it.

Why go for it?

The first thing that comes to my mind is for health reasons.Well for beginners, this is technically my 4th pregnancy. I had a miscarriage before I had my now 7 year old. And this will be my 3rd C-section. Aside from this, I also am tired physically and emotionally. Raising children is not easy. From the time they are born to the time they become adults ready to face the world on their own. We once had a discussion with my husband where we agreed that the financial obligations of raising a child is a given - no matter how difficult times may get. But the harder part is raising them well to become good men, to see them well into their adult lives knowing that when the time comes to "let them go," you will be able to do so with all confidence. I also feel that I want to be able to completely focus on them. For me (it may not be the same with other moms out there), I can get so caught up and distracted with 2 children more so when the little one comes what more if I add more to the brood?

Why not go for it?

Because I am still pretty young - 26. There are so many what if's as well. What if I will want another one in 5 years? A child is always a blessing no matter what. There are so many other people out there who want to have children but for some reason can't and here I am considering permanently shutting my door to the possibility of being blessed to take care of another baby.

Why not go for other methods?

Because I don't like its effect on me. Playing with my hormones does not seem to agree with me physically. I bloat. I retain water. I get headaches. I don't feel well while on it. Plus I want to be realistic meaning using the "all natural way." In that area, I may say we may not yet be that disciplined.

I'm torn.


Heart of Rachel said...

It's really your personal decision but since you asked, I think you're very young to consider ligation. Like what you said, what if for some reason you change your mind and want another child in the future? If you are entertaining that kind of 'what ifs' in your mind then perhaps it would be best not to put a finality to it. The other methods may not be that easy at times but they can be done.

It's a big decision for you and your husband. I'm sure you'll both come up with the best one.

Heather said...

I think if there is even the SLIGHTEST chance you might want more children that ligation should not be done.

That's all I'll say about this though! ;)


"What if I will want another one in 5 years?"

-Why not consider hubby getting a vasectomy, which is reversible compared to a tubal ligation?

I had the same dilemma a few weeks ago. Elicited advice from friends---healthworkers and those who had tubal ligation. Got the loudest howl of protest from female nurse-friends who used the term "invasive procedure" referring to tubal ligation. They recommended hubby take the responsibility of contraception through a vasectomy. So, yesterday, during my prenatal exam I rescinded a previously given consent to a tubal ligation accompanying my C-section (will be giving birth this Jan. 26 to my 2nd baby...of 5 pregnancies in 5 years of marriage...). The challenge right now is convincing hubby to get a vasectomy. One ace in my sleeve: the procedure is covered by government health insurance here in Canada.
Hope this helps.

Cielo said...

i have myself ligated after my CS with my baby at the age of 30. Ive got 2 kids (15 yo Girl and 5 yo boy).

its your choice, kami before naglista tlaga kami ni hubby ng pros and cons which i keep even now.

main reason is my health kasi high-blood ako at we feel that mas mabibigyan namin ng magandang future ang 2 kids.

Good luck sa decision nyo...God will guide you