My patience is being tested. My 5 1/2 year old boy is becoming the boy with this big invisible bag of excuses and has developed an extreme love for dilly-dallying - in everything he does.
While everyone is rushing in the morning, I call on my older one to start taking a bath, I tell him the shower is running already. Take off you clothes and jump in I say. I turn my back and focus on putting on a fresh new diaper on my little one. I sit down to feed the little one - run after him and feed him actually - expecting that my 5 year old is taking a bath already.
The shower running for a good 10 minutes, I see that he is dragging half his body across the hall way with his hand stretched across the wall, as if wiping the dirt of the wall. I freak out and ask him why he isn't in the shower yet. (Enter big invisible bag of excuses) He says he was trying to reach for his towel but couldn't. I tell him I always get his towel when he calls for me when he is done. (Enter invisible bag again) He says the water is cold (which isn't). I refuse to prolong discussion and just tell him to get in. He does.
His food prepared, I tell him to sit down and eat. (Enter very long dilly dallying ritual) I need water first he says. I give him water. I need tissue to wipe my mouth. Hubby gives him tissue. I want my other place mat he says. We change his place mat. Finally, he eats. We're half done by this time. After 2 or 3 spoons of food, he has this need to start babbling away. Questions, stories, more questions. I tell him we can talk after he eats. He is the last one on the table. Always. He is a good eater but the eating process itself just takes forever (unless we say he will be allowed to watch TV after he finishes his food, then he finishes his food in a flash).
I tell him to get into his PJ's. I forget about him and remember, so I check on him. He's playing in his playroom still in his day clothes. Why have you not changed I ask (enter bag of excuses please), I forgot he says. Goodness, for a 5 year old, memory excuses won't work for me. I tell him to go change. He says he is scared of the dark. I open the light in his room. He finally gets changed half an hour later. What he was doing? I don't know.
And this is the absolute best.
I come across one of his play sets, a set which the little one is not allowed to play with because it is a toy set for bigger boys and everyone makes sure the little one does not get his hands on them. I notice that some pieces are missing. I keep telling him never to lose the pieces, take good care of this or I won't buy this for you, I remember telling him at the toy store. He said he would take care of it. I ask how come the pieces are missing. (Enter big bag of excuses), he says ask my little brother. The room is a mess, I ask him what they were doing why it got all messed up. He says "It's because of Dash." Goodness, even when he farts, he says "That was Dash."
I suddenly remember those days when I was young, when I could put the blame on my dear imaginary friend.