On Work

I just read a post written by Alicia. It seems like in the 3 years that I have been blogging, I have never really talked about my job. Funny. Funny because it has been such a huge part of my life since I started working 5 years ago.

I started working when I was a senior in college. It was a part time job as an English tutor. I wanted to work because I wanted to earn a little bit more to help buy my son's milk and diapers. I was still depending on allowance from my Mom and my then boyfriend was also still studying.

Right after graduation, I took a 'break' for 2 months before landing myself a "real" job. I got a job as a human resource assistant at a call center. I met a lot of people and dedicated a lot of my time to my job. Too much time that I prioritized it over my husband and my child. I just wanted to be a go getter and reach the top right away. I was young and thought that my career was all that made me happy. My being too idealistic would always test my emotions as I always got frustrated when things wouldn't go my way. After 3 1/2 years, I got a call from a bank who was inviting me to join their human resources department as a recruitment and placement officer. I decided to move out of the call center and join the bank.

A few days ago, I 'celebrated' my 2nd year with the bank.

Basically, we recruit employees. We cover the northern region of our country, encompassing 10 provinces. Aside from that, we cater to the needs of our internal customers- our employees- when it comes to their needs like updating of records, processing of benefits, etc. It's a job I have always wanted to have since I took up Human Resource Development as an elective when I was a psychology major in college. I couldn't ask for more. Up to a certain point, it gives me a certain level of satisfaction, the pay is not all that but it does pay enough for the needs and the little wants of our family and I like the people I work with.

But it had to take me pails of tears, numerous heartbreaking moments and a thousand rolls of tissue for me to realize that it's not all that. I am thankful for my job but I am more thankful for the realization that nothing should come first before God, my husband and my children. 5 years ago, I made my work my life. I wouldn't care if my kid would be left at home even on Sundays because I had to do overtime or even my husband would be pissed that I had to stay in the office till late. What I wanted was to be on top of my game at work. I wanted to please my boss. I had to make an awesome impression. I wanted that promotion so bad. And I never got any of what I wanted.

Today, I enjoy what I do. There are days when I look forward to going to work but there are days when I would just rather be at home. But I am reminded that I am blessed with a job so I might as well do the best that I can in what I am doing. But I know in my heart that God, Jet, Josh, Dash and Arrow come first. So without hesitation, I say no to my boss when I know my husband or children need me. They do not need to tell me they need me, I just know when they do.

I often dream of being a stay at home mom. If only our country had more opportunities for mothers to work from the home. Or if I had more capital to set up a stable business. But for now, I will be thankful for what I have.