Evolution

We have heard it one too many times. I have heard it a zillion times . When people say " The only constant thing in this world is change." Yes it sounds all too familiar. When I hear this, I find myself not paying too much attention to it. In fact, it goes in my right ear and quickly leaves through my left ear.

But when we are truly faced with the need for change - the want for change - change itself - the fact that we cannot escape change, then the saying that "change is the only constant thing in this world" suddenly hits us hard. I panic. I wonder why such a fact must exist. It sounds so simple - very easy to understand but those things that lie beneath its surface are those which are unbearable to comprehend. I am perfectly comfortable with what I am doing now, what I have now- it took me some time to adjust to some changes and now that I am getting used to a lot of new things, why the need for more changes. And I find myself answering my own question - of course, obviously, because change is inevitable. And then I ask the deeper question - why am I afraid of change- am I?

Yes I am. I bravely say that I am. I am a coward when it comes to changes. So I decide to reflect and look back at the many many changes in my life that where I had no choice but to accept it and adjust to it and eventually learn to love it. My Dad's death changed too many things. I did not want it, I did not want to accept it but I had to and I learned to deal with the changes that took place. My Mom's death - it hit me hard but I knew that there was no way I could escape the changes that came with it. And then the birth of my second child - it changed me completely. So why am I scared again? I don't know. But I am.

And then I realize that I am scared because of the uncertainty that change will bring. Ah hah! There it is, that's right- it is the uncertainty. Not knowing what I am going to be faced with, what I can or cannot expect, what I can do, what I won't be able to do. Many, many things that bring uncertainty to my soul scares me enough. It is because of the unknown as compared to the known that you have come to know and love and be comfortable with. It will be a matter of stepping out of your comfort zone, leaving it and taking that one tiny step into something new and different.

But change is beautiful.

And maybe, just maybe, if I willingly accept what must change then I too can change with the changes - to turn into someone better.