I think a HUGE part of what has been bothering me lately is my ...............................
Yes. Since I gave birth I have been getting bigger and bigger. And it has reached the point where I do not feel good about myself anymore. And although it is disturbing, I still find myself stuffing my body with food.
I was never really fat. I was chubby in highschool but became thin in college. And then I got pregnant. At first, I would tell myself it was OK to be 'big' because I had just given birth. Months passed and then years and then I found myself still getting bigger. But I never really paid attention to it. I did try excercising. And then diets. And then I got pregnant again. And this time, I have not stopped increasing in size.
I am not really that vain, although conscious, I never get obsessed over my appearance.
But until recently when my confidence level was being eaten up but pants that could not be zipped, blouses that were to tight and jackets that could no longer be closed. And then I realized I had a problem.
When I wake up, all I think about is food. What I will eat for breakfast and half way through breakfast, I am already planning what I will eat for lunch. And while eating, even if I feel full already, I still continue shoving food down my throat.
It isn't vanity. It is unhealthy.
I have been trying to consciously watch what I eat and I have been cutting down on my food intake. It is difficult but I really need to lose weight. Not for anyone wlse, but for myself. And it is a struggle, I admit.