Friday, April 10, 2009

It's What's Within Me

There is something I am feeling rig
ht now which I can't quite seem to explain. I cannot find the right words to describe exactly how I am feeling. Whiny is the last thing I want to be but keeping it all bottled up inside may resort to disaster. What then is this?

Maybe I was made to believe that when I was growing up, all eyes were on me. Realistically speaking now, when I think about it, not everything is about me. I often feel its paranoia, maybe. And maybe, long ago, expectations were made too high leaving me with the feeling that I was just never good enough. That I may end up disappointing the majority. Maybe. I am speculating.

This brings me to a hodge podge of feelings. Frustration. Loneliness. Feelings of inadequacy. Anger.

I'm searching for a sense of security. I am striving to find my balance.

Why am I so concerned with what others have to think? Instead of concerning myself with whether I am happy or not?

Am I being selfish? Or inconsiderate?

Can't they just give me a break?!


Sophiagurl said...

Hi Louann, having great responsibility always gives me the blues. But dont worry too much - the future will take care of itself.

Hang on you're a great mom and wife:)

Heather said...

I think it's pretty normal to feel a little overwhelmed when you add a new baby to the family. It will get better!