Friday, April 13, 2007

Burn In Me

Growing up, my Mom worked her whole life as a college professor. For 28 years, she dedicated her life to her profession. I watched her through tough and happy times. But I saw in her the passion she had for her job. She died loving what she did. She never became the dean of a college nor did she get rich doing her job, but she loved what she did.
Dad was a journalist all his life. And I think it need not be mentioned that unless you allow yourself to be bribed, journalists never earn big. But Dad died happy. Towards the last years of his life, he came full circle. He continued writing articles and touched base with his former college art group.
And this empty feeling, I think I have figured out what it is all about. I need that passion too. I need to have the Passion my parents had in their hearts. I saw it with my own two eyes and that is exactly what I want to have right now.
It is that certain feeling of uncertainty that is holding me back. How will my family survive? How will our needs be met? And it is that one step that I just need to make to help make a difference in this world-- in the life of my children. It is my desire that my 2 boys see their Mom do what she is passionate about. I wish not let them see their Mom being absorbed into the trap of mundaneness. I want my children to see the meaning of life -- that it is not all about the money but rather it is all about being able to, in your own little way, make a difference in this world.
Passion - that burning feeling in one's heart. That burning feeling in one's heart that gives us a reason to live.


Sophiagurl said...

when you're a mom it's so easy to forget about your own dreams and aspirations to give way to your children's needs but it's those dreams and aspirations that makes us who we are. i know how you feel, i felt the same way a while back. don't lose sight of youre dreams because that's what makes you a great mom =)

pinks & blues girls said...

As always, a beautiful and thought-provoking post. Just in your writing, I see that you have a passion inside of you. A passion for family, for your children, your husband... for making your parents proud.

It is obvious that your parents were extremely smart, passionate people who enjoyed their work and loved their family. That is wonderful.

You will find that perfect thing that makes you feel passionate and also makes your boys see their mommy do something that makes them proud. I know it!

- Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls

louann said...

Thank you sophiagurl and pinks & blues girls :) people like you make me feel so much better. thank you for making it known to me that even if we haven't met, i know you guys care in your own little way. thanks :)
* sophiagurl, wanted to post a comment on your blog but could not do so :(

Sophiagurl said...

i wonder why you can't leave a comment. i'll check and get back to you on this. thanks for visiting my site as well. i check yours almost daily it's nice to bump into people like you. =) looking forward to your comment.

Sophiagurl said...

i checked my settings and all is okay. please try posting a comment and let me know if you still can't. thanks! have a nice day