Yes I think that is what I need right now. Someone to tell me what the heck I am going through right now.
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Yesterday, while at sitting in front of my monitor, an eerie feeling just crept in. An eerie feeling that it was time to move on -- from my job, that is. So many times in the past, I felt like leaving this company because of office politics, boredom or burnout. But in the past months since I gave birth (and got to enjoy my 78 day maternity leave), I was able to overcome all those. Pretty well in fact. I felt re-energized and ready to push myself again. I was up and about, attending seminars and conferences, participating in office activities, joining committees and all. I even submitted project proposals, goals and objectives charts to my boss even without her asking me to do so! But yesterday was just plain eerie.
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Unsuspectingly, it crept over me. And all I wanted to do at that point was cry.
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I am now wondering what the heck I am still doing here. I feel that there are more important things for me to do outside than sit here from 8-5 and wonder why I am doing so. I no longer feel that drive. I want to push myself and be pushed, not in a bad way, but to the point where I can see that I am working towards something.
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For a long time I have been contemplating on doing volunteer work at the cancer ward or touching base with a support group for cancer patient caregivers. Now that would give much more meaning.
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But what about the family's needs?
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If I leave, I will be able to concentrate on finishing my Master's degree. Or finally working on our papers for leaving.
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Thoughts?
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