This morning, I got up, ate breakfast and took a bath. I got out of the shower and while I was changing, I started to see this aura at the side of my right eye. I knew right then that I was doomed. I see this right before the on-set of a migraine. and whenever I have a migraine attack it's always my worst nightmare.
So I frantically went through our medicine container and found my migraine meds -Imigran. I told my husband I was about to have a migraine attack and that I would be taking the half day off. I took my meds and decided to lay down with the door closed. I would open my eyes once in a while to check on the aura and when I saw it was getting smaller and smaller, I knew the headache was getting nearer. The only problem with Imigran is it makes me very very drowsy - which is a good thing - but not when part of my migraine cycle includes vomiting. So by the time the meds were taking effect, by this time my head felt like it was being axed right down the middle - I was also so sleepy but also so nauseous. I wanted to cry - as always when I have a migraine but I was just too tired. Too sleepy but still feeling the need to gag, I just put the trash can beside the bed so I could just lean over whenever I felt the need to do so. Horrible.
I used to have migraine attacks in high school almost once a week. One attack was so bad they had to rush me to the hospital. After a few tests, my neurologist came in and explained to me that my migraines were caused by (drum roll please) psychological stress. Perfect.
I was finally able to sleep peacefully around mid-morning and got up when hubby decided to burst into the room and excitingly ask "Honey! how's your migraine?!?!" Well thank you honey, I was just about getting the sleep I needed. It was around lunch time already and I felt much better so I decided to get up and get ready for work. And then while getting ready, I was reminded again of my Mom's ordeal.
Here I was feeling awful about my migraine and completely forgot about how shallow and petty my physical pain was compared to the pain my Mom and Dad felt during their last days on earth.
When we asked Dad's doctors how Dad what it felt like to have liver cirrhosis, they told us it was a burning sensation from within the body, so hot you do not know what to do with it. Our only consolation was that since Dad was in a coma, he probably did not feel the pain anymore.
And when my Mom died, her oncologist said that during her last days in the ICU, where her heart rate was always somewhere between the 152-175 range, it was almost like Mom was running a marathon race straight for 7 days.
Although terrible, painful and Yucky, I am thankful for that migraine attack I had. It reminded me to be thankful also for what I do not have.