My Kind Of Guy

I have noticed that I haven't really been ranting about being tired, zombie-ish because of lack of sleep, etc. And when people in the office ask me if I had a good nights sleep, I actually smile and answer "yes I did have good nights sleep!" Because I always have a good nights sleep. I think it's really amazing that Arrow is such an easy baby. He is such a good baby.

I have noticed that they just keep getting better and better-- my kids I mean. I can't help but compare one from the other at times in terms of how they were when they were babies. One was EXTREMELY difficult to the point where I would dread nightfall because I knew it meant crying and crying and more crying. He just wouldn't stop even if he was full, his diaper was clean, he was burped, he was being cradled. He just wouldn't stop. One was relatively easy but had a temper. My oh my. So when my youngest came along, I was sort of prepared for any kind of baby. But VOILA! I was blessed with such an angel.

He wakes up in the morning and pretty much stays in bed wide awake for half an hour or so before demanding to be picked up. I bathe him and then feed him. when I get home for lunch, I feed him. According to the nanny, he spends the afternoon playing and eating and being carried. By the time I get home, he's ready for another feeding before he plays and coos and makes me adore him. He falls asleep between 8-9 after being fed and then sleeps through the night except for his usual feeding at around 2 and then 5 in the morning. It probably helps that I don't pick him up to be fed anymore because he sleeps beside me and is fed while lying down as well.

I hope I don't jinx myself! But he really is a sweetheart.

Daily Schedule

Around 5:30 AM - pump milk, pump milk, pump milk

6'ish - have breakfast

6:30-7:00 - prepare my 7 year old for school (check bag, give reminders, etc).

7:30 - bathe baby and then feed the baby

8'ish - take a bathe prepare for work, play with 3 year old, pump milk, pump milk, pump milk

8:30 - leave home for work (heart silently breaking)

9-12 - live in boredom a.k.a. pretend to look for something to do at work while thinking of baby and 3 year old left at home

12PM - hail a cab and rush home

12-1 - pump milk, pump milk, pump milk. Feed baby. Play with 3 year old. Pump milk, pump milk, pump milk.

1 - Head back to work

1-6 - Think of kids. Wish I were home. Watch the clock tick till 6.

6PM - hail cab and rush home.

I know things will continue to get better, but right now, this is how I really, truly, honestly feel.

On Your Birthday...

You came at the perfect time. You were tiny when you came into this world. So fragile but you had a strong loud cry.

I can't believe you are 3. You know so much yet still want to learn so much more. You amaze us with your wit and amuse us with your antics.

You are determined and strong willed but you are very affectionate. You know exactly what you want.

I want to hold time from moving because I don't want you to grow up yet I find myself excited just wondering who you will be when you grow up.

I love you!

I Survived It

I woke up this morning with a queasy tummy-- literally. I didn't want to get up. I had breakfast, pumped milk, bathed the baby, saw my 7 year old off to school, tried my best to tame my 3 year old and got ready for work.

I said goodbye to my pyjamas which I would wear the whole day and said hello to hosiery, make up and high heels.

I got through half the day and then rushed home for lunch. I didn't realize that I had forgotten to stick to my 1 hour lunch break. The afternoon took a bit longer. By 4:30, I was already restless. The minutes ticked by and finally, when it was 6PM, I hailed a cab and excitedly rushed home.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I reminded myself to stop complaining and look at the bright side instead.

Tomorrow is another day.

Thank you Shosh and Rach for your encouraging words.

This Yucky, Yucky Feeling

Like there are a thousand butterflies in my tummy. Like the feeling when the roller coaster you're riding us about to take the plunge. Like throwing up.

The husband just left and will be gone the rest of the week. He starts training tomorrow as he joins a new company. I go back to work tomorrow after 78 days of my maternity leave.

Like there are a thousand butterflies in my tummy. Like the feeling when the roller coaster you're riding us about to take the plunge. Like throwing up.


That's exactly how I feel.

Now Let's Talk Politics

Josh: Mom, I lost in school.

Me: What? What do you mean? Where?

Josh: I was supposed to be president but I lost.

Me: Oh you mean class president?

Josh: Yeah! Yeah! Exactly! How'd you know that?

Me: It's ok sweetheart.

Josh: But I did get 2 votes! (With the hugest smile in the world).

Me: Oh cool.

~then I noticed his left hand had a neon yellow band around it with the word YES written all over it~

Me: What's that?

Josh: Oh they gave it to us.

Me: Who?

Josh: The YES party!

Me: Oh, I get it! You're going to vote for your school leaders?

Josh: Yeah! How'd you know?

Me: We also had that in school before. So did the YES party campaign in your class?

Josh: Yes! They are soooo cool (said with feelings)

Me: Why? What makes you say that?

Josh: They gave us this band, they gave us stickers, they gave the girls bracelets. And they have so much fun lined up for the school.

Me: Like?

Josh: Like we're going to have so much games, camping, games. And...(thinking) ...More games

Me: Uh huh. Okay. So did you vote for them?

Josh: No.

Me: What?? Who did you vote for?

Josh: The WISE party.

Me: How come?

Josh: Because teacher reminded us that we shouldn't look at the outside but rather in the inside. Like inside their hearts. Like what is inside their hearts.

Me: Okay......

Josh: So even if the YES party gave us all these and said we will have so much fun, I chose the WISE party. Because their the good leaders.

---
I just found it so cute.

Right Before My Eyes

My almost 3 year old is done with summer school. I was given the chance to stay with him in school for the first few days. Of course there was crying and a whole lot of drama. But he eventually caught the hang of it. I just really wanted to stay out of the whole scene because I was prepared for the drama but since I was allowed to sit in for a few days, I thought what the heck.

It was my first time to sit inside a pre school classroom. I had no problem with my older one when he started school so I only had to go as far as the classroom door when I brought him to class. Anyway going back. So I sat inside the classroom, awed at the materials and toys that they had. I was itching to get a hold of them and play with them myself. There were 6 children all between the ages of 3-4. 1 or 2 (that includes my son) would do their morning drama -- around 10-15 minutes each and there would be a lot of "shouting whispering" from us mothers. The others would be happily playing with the toys. THere would be 1 sitting quietly and waiting for the class to start. Quite a scene.

By the time the children settled down half an hour would have passed by already. I'd sit in the corner and watch. I would find myself smiling. When the teacher would ask the children to participate in an activity, I would find myself tempted to stand up, go to my child and cheer him on to do his best. There would be instances when the teacher would have to discipline my son when he would get a bit restless and again, I found myself wanting to jump up to discipline the teacher! But I reminded myself this is exactly why he is in school. I wanted to clap every time my child would give a correct answer. I wanted to say "I have the smartest kid ever!" But I sat there, quietly. Smiling.

I watched my sons vulnerability. I was awed at how fast he had grown. I sat there with pride.

I told myself this is it. I am slowly letting him go.

When the class would end, I would watch my son smile at his teacher with loving eyes saying "See you tomaraw peacher!" and we'd walk down the hall way holding hands. I held his hand tight. He held mine tighter.

Mommyhood Rocks

Chat of iMoM tagged me. Thanks Chat!


Here’s how the tag works:

I’m going to link to a couple of other mom bloggers here in the Philippines, and to a couple of mom bloggers from other countries around the world, and they’ll write their posts, sharing 5 things that they love (or maybe what they don’t so much love - this playground doesn’t force conformity) about being a mom, and then they’ll tag a few more bloggers from their own country and from other countries, and so on.

Whoever said motherhood was all fun? But despite the difficulties, it has been by far, the most wonderful adventure I have ever experienced.

So here goes

First, I love being able to experience and witness the miracle of life. From the moment you find out your pregnant to the time you give birth must be the most awesome experience one could ever go through. From a little tiny bean to a full grown baby. How does that happen? Miracles do happen.

I also love the toxicity of it all. The sleepless nights, the tantrums, the morning rush. It can get crazy and often times we feel like throwing in the towel, but I would choose this kind of life over anything else. I wouldn't want it any other way. After all this is the only way I know.

I love being able to smell a my baby's sweet breath, being able to clean the spaghetti or cake icing off the face of my toddler, heck I even love embracing my all sweaty 7 year old.

Fourth, I love being able to experience the joy that is felt when I see my kids happy. Seeing them smile and hearing them laugh even over the shallowest things is intoxicating. It brings tears to my eyes just knowing that they will fondly remember their childhood.

Lastly, I love being able to talk about my children. They are my pride. And nothing in this world can ever change that. Ever.


I'm tagging Karen, Rachel, Heather, C and all the other proud mommies who want to play along!

Obra Maestro

"CIRCO"

"SCARE"

The Best Gift: Honesty

Yearning

It's mother's day again. There's something about it that makes me dread the day and for the past years I couldn't exactly figure out what it was. And it hit me. Last night. It's that time of the year when we honor our moms -- our bestfriends, our role models, we prepare cards, take them out to a good lunch, buy them gifts or be extra nice to them. And I haven't been able to do that for the past 3 years. And it makes my heart ache.

When I was much younger, I would make a card for Mom. I would melt my old crayons and splatter them on the card I was making. When I was old enough to receive allowance, I would save up so that I could buy her a present. A nice handkerchief or a shawl and when I was older and could save up for more, I would get her a nice blouse or a bottle of white linen -- her favorite perfume.

As I sit and think of all the "what ifs" in this world, I find myself crying. Now that I am older and more mature, I feel sad knowing that I can no longer give back to my Mom what she deserves, to make up for all the heartaches I gave her during my younger years.

I miss her so much. There are still so many times I find myself craving for her smell, to embrace her, to talk with her.

I'm finding it hard to look forward to Sunday. How I yearn to brighten up Mom's day, to hug her and to see how excited she would be when we would plan where we would eat out for lunch.

I can't help but feel jealous when I see Moms and daughters together. I wish I still had mine. And although so many people always tell me that "it's OK" and "you're going to be OK," sometimes it just isn't.

Cherish every moment with your Moms.

Happy Mother's Day all you Mommies out there.

Wiped Out!

And there were angels singing....

Things I Heart

Over the years of mothering my boys, I have been constantly on the look out for useful, "cannot live without" baby essentials. Here's my list:

The bouncer. The automatic rocking made the bouncer an enjoyable place for my sons to nap and it kept my 2nd child entertained when he was old enough to see. The bumbo. I absolutely love! I found it extremely convenient since my 2nd child couldn't sit on his own until he was about 9 or 10 months! I would take this everywhere with us. I'm sure the little one will enjoy this as well when he is ready to sit on it.
Avent Baby Bottles.I tried 2 other brands of bottles but this is the only bottle my son developed a liking to. I didn't have a hard time making him get used to the silicon nipple when I had to go back to work. Works pretty much the same for my youngest so I didn't bother trying out other newer brands.
Onesies. I can never get enough of these. There are so many onesies now a days but I especially love the plain white ones because they can be worn either by themselves or as undershirts. I have a liking for the Gerber onesies.
What baby things can't you live without?

Mental Sketches

I've been enjoying this thing -- this whole stay at home mom thing. I always wanted to be one. I seem to be enjoying the "hectic" of it all.

Today, my 3 year old son started "summer school." A 2 week program offered by the school where he will be studying this June to prepare the new students so that they could easily "settle in" come June. I brought him to school and had to hang around the campus for a while while he got comfortable with his new surroundings. I enjoyed it a lot. If I weren't on leave from work I could just imagine myself rushing to bring him and rushing to leave his school to get to work on time.

I'm not saying our days don't get hectic--yes they do. Just as I had mentioned, but I have come to love this kind of hectic over the kind of busyness I face when I have to divide my energy, attention and efforts between work and the home. Now I am busy but just with the children and the home.

When I first started working, I was focused on my career and was determined to excel as an HR practitioner. I admit, there were times that I prioritized my work over my husband, my child and the home. But in the past 2 years, I have come to realize how much more important my family is and although I do still have my job, I look at it as something secondary to everything else. I am grateful I have a job but I have learned to say no to certain things especially if it will mean having to compromise my family.

So anyway, going back. I do wonder whether I have been loving this because I know that in 3 weeks time I will be heading back to work. Knowing that this kind of 'free time' on my side won't ever happen again makes me do my best and enjoy every single minute of being so involved in my children's lives and in keeping up the home. Maybe if it were the other way around, I would be loving and enjoying every single minute of whatever part time work I can do. Maybe.

I yearn for what I don't have. I'm scared about how things will be 3 weeks from now. I heard this line once on TV "At the end of the day, we still have to give the best of us and not what is left of us." I find that rather difficult to do after a long day at work.

Arrow

He'll be 2 months in a few days. Again, I wonder where the time went? He's almost 6kgs. He is a voracious eater. He loves it when we talk to him and dislikes being left alone. He is a wonderful sleeper (ooh crossing my fingers that I don't jinx myself after I post this entry!). He is calmed when I sing to him. He doesn't like it when he has to be changed. He doesn't enjoy his tummy time. He is starting to coo and laugh.
I love him so.

His Passion

To say that men are different from women IS an understatement.

My husband loves cars. He loves speed. He loves the high that he feels when he is racing.

I don't love cars but I understand the need to have at least one to be able to get around. I don't really enjoy fast cars. I become a nervous wreck when he races.

But that's his passion. It keeps him busy. It makes him happy.

So I resort to prayer whenever he races.
The boys have a bast watching their dad while cheering for him when his car passes by.

It's a time when we all can also be together and bond.