Right Before My Eyes

My almost 3 year old is done with summer school. I was given the chance to stay with him in school for the first few days. Of course there was crying and a whole lot of drama. But he eventually caught the hang of it. I just really wanted to stay out of the whole scene because I was prepared for the drama but since I was allowed to sit in for a few days, I thought what the heck.

It was my first time to sit inside a pre school classroom. I had no problem with my older one when he started school so I only had to go as far as the classroom door when I brought him to class. Anyway going back. So I sat inside the classroom, awed at the materials and toys that they had. I was itching to get a hold of them and play with them myself. There were 6 children all between the ages of 3-4. 1 or 2 (that includes my son) would do their morning drama -- around 10-15 minutes each and there would be a lot of "shouting whispering" from us mothers. The others would be happily playing with the toys. THere would be 1 sitting quietly and waiting for the class to start. Quite a scene.

By the time the children settled down half an hour would have passed by already. I'd sit in the corner and watch. I would find myself smiling. When the teacher would ask the children to participate in an activity, I would find myself tempted to stand up, go to my child and cheer him on to do his best. There would be instances when the teacher would have to discipline my son when he would get a bit restless and again, I found myself wanting to jump up to discipline the teacher! But I reminded myself this is exactly why he is in school. I wanted to clap every time my child would give a correct answer. I wanted to say "I have the smartest kid ever!" But I sat there, quietly. Smiling.

I watched my sons vulnerability. I was awed at how fast he had grown. I sat there with pride.

I told myself this is it. I am slowly letting him go.

When the class would end, I would watch my son smile at his teacher with loving eyes saying "See you tomaraw peacher!" and we'd walk down the hall way holding hands. I held his hand tight. He held mine tighter.