Sunday, October 25, 2009

Elitist?

People often judge me as a snob- or a person not easily approachable. I do agree to a certain level. I have encountered so many people telling me, "The first time I met you, I thought you would be hard to get along with but after getting to know you, I think you're really a nice person." I am not trying to flatter myself, please. But really, I do get those comments ALWAYS.

As I have grown older, I've realized that maybe that's my "wall," the front I put up because I am a shy person, really. Sometimes insecure and lacking in confidence when placed in a huge group of people. When I am unsure of the crown you put me in, I have the tendency to withdraw and wait for people to approach me. If no one approaches me - because of their perception of me-- that of being a snob, then I don't make the first move.

I have also always preferred to limit the people I choose to bare my soul to. In the office, I am comfortable with 3 or 4 of my officemates - people whom I can easily talk with, laugh with, express my rants to. As for the others, a polite smile and a nod every once in a while is enough. I have a circle of friends and the number of real, real, real friends I have can be counted on one hand. I have also figured that it's a choice I have made. I may have acquaintances, but I chose to maintain the relationship on that level.

I admire people who have a lot of friends, who are able to easily mingle with people they've met for the first time. I can't help but be amazed by people who can converse and build rapport with complete strangers.

Sometimes I wonder whether it's good or bad. I ask myself if it will affect my survival skills.

3 comments:

Heather said...

I am very similar.

Alicia said...

I think we are all wired differently. I have many friends who seem unapproachable, but it's really because of their shyness.

C said...

Thank you for sharing with us :) Some of my closest friends are a lot like you (the you that you described in this post). I'm quite the opposite, but sometimes that ends up in me getting hurt.

P.S. My lola just returned to the Phils. I wish I could have gone with her! She's in Batangas and said that they weren't affected like Manila and other parts of the Phils were.