I Almost Ended It. I'm Glad I Didn't. Feeling Much, Much Better.

I mean, where the heck have I been? Rediscovering myself I guess. I was seriously thinking of deleting this blog. But I know we -bloggers, all go through this phase at one point or another. But I thought about the 3 years I poured my heart and soul into this, was I willing to just throw it all away? I thought of deleting and then starting a new blog again somewhere-- but what about all the wonderful friendships I have developed over the years? I'm not good at throwing such away. I thought of doing so because at one point, I realized that I wasn't being true to myself and to my readers. I figured that what was pushing me to the brink of pushing the "delete" button was I was not utilizing my blog to its fullest.

With that said, I am going to be extremely true to me and to you. No arguments please. No room for debate. Just my purest thoughts and intentions with the ope of being able to find myself again, to keep treasured friends and discover so much more wonderful people out there.

Last weekend was hell. I tagged along with my husband because he was to join another one of his car races in Manila. We knew there was a storm coming but when we left or house, the sun was actually shining. By the time we got to the express way, the rain started to pour heavily and there were policemen waving their hands. We stopped and asked what was the matter and they told us that certain areas along the highway were already flooded. We decided to take the nearest exit and wait till the rain stopped. Fat chance. We were stranded for 9 hours and for the 1st time in my life I feared for my life. We were able to find a high enough ground where we parked the cars but when you looked to both sides, you could see that the waters were already rising. My husband tried to find food while I waited in the car. I was crying and praying. And at that point all I wanted to do was to hug my children. My husband came back without any food. He said he was too scared to proceed because the flood waters were up to his thighs already. So we stayed in the car and waited and listened to the news on the radio. At around 11PM, we heard that the highway was pretty clear. We took our chances even if the waters were still up to the tires of our car. Luckily, we got to proceed. We were hoping to make a u-turn and proceed back home but we were informed that the Northbound lane of the highway was closed because there were certain areas where the flood waters were neck deep. So we decided to proceed to Manila. We spent the night there and then headed back home the next day.

When we got home, my 3 year old had fever. The next day he couldn't eat because his mouth was full of mouth sores. It was horrible. The next day, he seemed to be feeling much better but then my 7 year old had caught the fever and was complaining of a sore throat. I had to go to work. In the afternoon, our house help sent me a message informing me that my 6month old had fever as well. Both Josh and Arrow had fever through the night and the next day, Arrow didn't want to drink milk from me and from the bottle. I brought them to their pedia for their check up. Apparently, it was a viral infection. After a day, they were all pretty OK already.

I have a huge mouth sore on my right tonsil, a runny nose and a throbbing head.

Wonderful.

But I am thankful that the storm has passed. Google it. You'll see how affected the Philippines is.

And I wonder, is there hope for our country?

I'm feeling yucky- physically. But much better- emotionally.