Monday, May 12, 2008

Ramblings...Writing Away

It was one that was marked in my heart. Young as I was, i believed I knew what love was. What it meant. And all I really cared about was the fact that this thing called love felt good. It gave me the high. Never mind if people laughed at me, why did I have to care? All I wanted to care about was the happiness I was feeling. I do not remember what was so memorable but it was memorable.

But as people say, nothing lasts forever. And so it didn't. At that time, I didn't know what was to come next. Was it finally over or was I just telling myself it was? I tried to forget. I tried to look for outlets to forget it, to forget him. I thought I did. I wanted to make myself believe that I was helping myself get better - get over it.

It lasted for a while. It felt like a long time but as I look back, it wasn't. I tried to distract myself. I met a person who tried to help me forget. And I wanted to believe that I was happy again. But hard as I tried, it wasn't working. I tried to focus and refocus but it didn't work. I probably tried to hard, until I guess I realized it wasn't worth fooling myself and the person who was starting to believe that he had found his happiness. It was a risk, a scary thing to do. But I had to let go and I had to make him let go.

And I did. I went back to my old happiness believing that it truly was my happiness.

Was it?

1 comment:

SusieJ said...

Anything that leads you back to yourself is happiness. That's where happiness is.