I've been thinking, how big a family should we actually have? When I got pregnant the second time around, I was soooo happy. People started to ask me whether or not that would be my second and last baby and I was like "what?! no!." In my mind, I was going to have 4 kids. You see, my childhood was pretty damn lonely. I was an only chid although I had 2 older cousins who lived in the house, they were a lot older than me -- like 8 and 9 years older. When my uncle finally had kids, I was already 6 or 7 years old. Although I had other cousins my age, I would only get to see them on weekends. So I got used to playing alone. So when I started to have kids, I so wanted a big family. But when I learned that I would only be able to deliver via c-section for the rest of my life, I told myself that having 4 kids via c-section would be good enough. After I gave birth to Dash though, I dunno it must have been the hormines still running wild, although I was enjoying every single moment spent painfully breastfeeding the baby I thought to myself that my 2 boys would be enough already. But then again, I always wanted a baby pink of my own! After experiencing a 4 1/2 year gap between Josh and Dash, I told myself that too big a gap is a huge adjustment. It was like everything was back to zero for me and Jet. I couldn't remember the pain caused by the operation, I couldn't imagine the pain I would feel during the initial days of breastfeeding...worst was I couldn't imagine life without a good night's sleep LOL. But that 4 1/2 year gap was actually needed because when I had Josh, I was still in 3rd year college so Jet and I had to make sure we graduated and get a job and settling before having another one.
SO BACK TO MY QUESTION
How big a family should we actually have? Jet and I talked about it after I gave birth the second time around and decided that our 2 boys would be enough. But then you know when you see your baby growing up on you, you suddenly start to want another one again. And if I am given that chance to have another baby, I wouldn't want to wait for another 4 years again. This has been running through my head for the past couple of weeks.
So Josh is still on vacation and goes back to school on the 8th. By the way, my aunts made Josh an offer -- The moment he starts reading ON HIS OWN, they will be giving him a ticket to HongKong Disneyland! So the cheering in the house has begun -- Read Josh! You Can Do It Josh! Read! Woohooo!