Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Mom of 2

When I gave birth to Josh, I never imagined having another kid - well not really in the sense that I vowed never to have kids again - it's just that, it just never crossed my mind. Like it was never a thinking topic for me. Josh became my world - he became everybody's world, my parents, my in-laws, my cousins, my aunts. When Josh was 1 year and 10months, Jet and I got married but it never crossed our minds to plan for another kid just yet. But after a few more years, I guess we felt it was about time Josh had got a sibling. So after 3 1/2 years, I discovered I was carrying another little bean in my tummy.
Being pregnant again was a different experience from when I was carrying Josh. And during this time, I couldn't quite imagine how my life would be with another kid in the house. My life still revolved around Josh. There were nights when I would lay in bed and try to remember how it was when Josh was a baby. I would look at Josh, who was laying beside me and I would try to recall the sleepless nights I shared with him, how it felt to change a stinky diaper, my perils of burping an ultra-mega-delicate breathing but not yet squirming little creature -- god I just couldn't! It just seemed so far far away! And as much as I wanted to imagine that I would be able to love 2 children, I just couldn't. Josh just seemed to be the only one who mattered to me at that time. Yes, I loved the baby -- of course! But I just couldn't imagine how it felt to equally love 2 little children.
A soon as I heard Dash's cry when he was delivered, I couldn't explain the feelings that suddenly rushed all over me. Unexplainable. Now I had two little boys who I would love unconditionally. It felt so perfect.
Today, I have given up on my dolls, lace and pink. Over the past 5 years, I have learned to play with trucks, blocks, mud and sand. I have found excitement in sweating it out in the garden playing ball and tag.
And at the end of the day, there is nothing more perfect than staring at my two little superheroes wiped out after a day of rumble and tumble.
God I love my family -- and that's what pretty much matters to me - now, tomorrow and forever.

1 comment:

Jennboree said...

I too grew up with dreams of having kids but wanted boys. I never in a million years thought I'd end up with 2 girls! I was so afraid I'd never bond with them or would have the issues with them that my sis and I have with our mom at times.


I adore them. A mother's love is just that, no matter their baby's gender. Ya know? I am totally in love with my children in all their uniqueness.