Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Crossroads

I wasn't able to use the weekend to really reflect and sort out everything that has been going on in my life. But 3 days ago, while in a taxi on the way to the mall, I tried to sit there and stare blankly out the window. Apparently, that did not work. Instead, I found myself reflecting on the things that have been swarming my head and flooding my heart. And then I felt it. I realized that I am currently at a crossroad. That point in my life where I am once again faced with the question "Which road do I take?" and the answer "The road less travelled." I figured, we all experience this. Am I right? Well there may be some people who are able to figure out things real quick, who can decide on certain things and just know that they made the right decision or who are very sure about who they are. Well good for people like that. I just don't fall into that category. And with me being oh so emotional, I experience such crossroads in my life and it often takes me a while to finally decide on what to do.

That realization that I am at a crossroad did not answer any of my questions just yet. AT this point, I am still standing in front of 2 roads. Still trying to decide which road to take. But I am no longer afraid of what each road will bring. There will be bumps. There will be blind curves. There will be uphills and downhills. Flat surfaces and rough. I know I will travel that road not with complete ease, but I will travel it. If my driving skills won't ride me through, I can always walk.
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I got to talk with a close friend of mine and I shared with her my feelings about wanting another baby. She almost fell off her chair by the way. But she told me that I may be feeling this because my little one is transitioning into a toddler and so I may be panicking. To which I agreed - a bit. But she told me to really think it over and if in the end I still fell the same, then I should go for it! Now, about convincing hubby to allow me to stop the pill. Hmmm.

2 comments:

pinks & blues girls said...

I say you're a wonderful mommy and if you want more kids, go for it (of course, hubby does need to be on board... and if he is, yay!). I think it's always good to try to weigh the pluses and minuses of every decision, but if you feel something is right, then go with it. You are still very young, and so are your kids, so do it now while you have the energy!

Hoping you find all the answers you're looking for soon...

Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls

SusieJ said...

Thinking about you -- very tough decision. But, Pinks & Blues is right -- you're young, and it's easier when you're young. Sibblings are a gift to your children that no one else can give. But remember, you could end up with 4 boys like me!! (lol!)